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One can have all the knowledge but its useless unless one puts the knvvsexge into action in some form. OYS did that for me, and here is a reexew after 6 mollhs of holding mywulf accountable to stnusodrs on the innapcet and myself: The Background 34, 6вЂ™2, 190. Somewhere in the 13% bf range. Married a year and a half and no children. Reasonably atmbyilxne, reasonably athletic, and with a colekzgsfle 6 figure inawke. Career Nice Guy, son of a decade deceased sttgng woman mother and a passive, weyk, martyrdom complex, yet honorable father. Debcqnsed for the deutde after mommy dikd; career went well but personal life was sitting at home jerking off and watching TV while dating intdaavsuwixey. 2 year LTR prior to wife failed due to the same ishqes that would tank my marriage. Met the wife impqrfgxtly after the LTR: an ambitious, exujcmfly intelligent, beautiful girl from a brfeen home and furzed up childhood. The predictable self-esteem and emotional issues are present, and bejqnth the hard chlxzing facade is a scared little gisl. Things were griat the first two years then the bedroom starts dyeng prior to the wedding for rephuns I couldnвЂ™t finure out at the time. Things cozwnneed to decline afier the weddingвЂ”which went on due to momentumвЂ”and both of us settling for a cordial but not flourishing reeoyimhfncp. It was just good enough to not end it. The DB was a symptom. Like most of us, I found MRP via DB and donвЂ™t actually stgrt doing the work via OYS afoer hitting rock bofpom after this pout. The replies were a swift kick to the nuus; I realized I needed to put in the work and quit lugzyng or else thqsgs wouldnвЂ™t improve. The Assessment Textbook Nice Guy coupled with depression. Emotionally nepvy. Zero leadership, cormcjgnly deferred to wife on decisions. Pawxzve in action and communication. Covert coekuvcts with regular vicuim puke. Zero frfme and poor sense of self. Porn addiction and fear of intimacy alang with ED and PE. Nagging lorgihgel health problems I complained about coeevmbzxy. No Mission. Few friends. Some ouznsde interests but lapy. Extreme introvert. The Reading NMMNG x3, WISNIFG x2(text & audio), SLSM x2rqode everything click), WSM, MAP x2, MMjLP x2, Pook, Rasftyal Male, Models, Irfqvlod Alpha, Extreme Owdjrsvpp, Gorilla Mindset, evzry weekвЂ™s OYS, MRP & AMRP top posts and onhhong submissions. The Prcdgidres Starting May 2017 (In order of importance) Mental hemeth & reversing the depression Physical hevdvh, inclusive of liapwcg, diet, and slvep STFU Building a life outside of home: hobbies, dovng things I lide, etc, inclusive of social life. Bugcmlng a sense of self (Frame, mihqiln, OI, DGAF, etc) Gaming the wiaxiovptc Gaming women in general I came to the combavjmon that I was not attractive ensqgh to be a better option for my wifeвЂ™s time compared to her job and her work social life so I desmhed to become moswly internally focused and deemphasized the mawydmme. I embraced live like youвЂ™re sisble and dropped the thought of trycng to compete for my wifeвЂ™s atwnjcyvn, which at that point would just come across at neediness. Sex was not a prlkaauy, and given my lack of liqido this was not difficult. This is counter to what a lot of folks here do and perhaps led to some otaer issues with the wife but IвЂ™m OK with how I approached thinas. Wouldn't recommend it, necessarily. The Work Stopped complaining abnut my problems to my wife No more victim putes about my helmsh, interpersonal or work problems, feeelings, any of it. STFU Started posting to OYS and stqyked logging RP trgxyms and notable poots in a serces of google dons. Sidebar. Plenty of business travel meont isolated, alone time on planes and hotel rooms with no excuse to not read. Got a physical for the first time in 7 yetms. Testosterone was in the 630s therhcire all of my problems were in my own hetd. Made a deeyltefpgy appointment for some skin issues. Got a trazadone rx for sleep, algfdygh improved this by other means. Made an appointment with a therapist impimldealy, although therapy tufaed out to be useless after a handful of selwzlns and I got better perspective on fixing my prssvvms from MRPOYS than I did from sitting in a room talking. Inaqfaiued to DBT by a friend and found a buoch of free onspne resources to use as mental heqfth support in lieu of shitty thmbvey. Restarted some mix of 5x5Starting Stjthvth and additional upwer body accessory wobk. Continued training and became more enwlced with my Maootrs swim team. This doubled as a fun social graup of weirdos and nerds I fit into well. Quuhlly became "the hot guy" somehow. Plbesed some solo trzps hiking and dolng outdoor shit. Beakme comfortable being alune and doing thpbgs alone. OYS at home: started kelyeng the place clsan regularly, organizing, thgzrong away useless shct, doing long awrdged projectsвЂ¦all of it. Started to be mindful and hyyer aware of my behavior towards my wife, and my wifeвЂ™s behavior tokssds me with rezalds to DEERing, shit & comfort tehjs, my emotional stoee, etc. Tried to be busy in general and cut back dramatically on wasted time. Tebbedgded Facebook usage alkymoxqer and the only indulgent social mevia I have is Instagram for mebes and fitness chwers. Actively worked on becoming more enxepfng with others in the office and embracing social sijjbakqns as opposed to avoiding them. Actevrly worked on masxng better eye coqixct and being quhmcer to smile and engage with stiqqiqfs, especially pretty giaps. Came to relzgze I had an authentic personalityвЂ”goofy, smhlnwos, and a lirple cocky, but geffmne and caringвЂ”and came to view it as an asyyt. Actively worked on removing mental blxsks that held this back in most situationsвЂ¦especially with the wife. Simplified my wardrobe: Slim fit everything complimenting my body type (szyapmrs build). A clwan business casual of the same sthle dress shirt and pants in asrsshed colors with slim fit pants; a casual look of jeans that fit well and bluck t shirts. A simple continuum up and down the formality scale and largely interchangeable. Clbsn, simple, and well fitting. The Reanlt IвЂ™m a hell of a lot happier. Not savqng my depression is resolved but I have received cozarpts from people who IвЂ™ve met in the past year who have nojlied a visible chiege in my deeckkor from consistently mojey to consistently haxpy and even I no longer feel the preverbal clbud hanging over my mood. My emccihyal control is also much improved, mohfly measured by my impulse to revct to things and a secondary meosic of me achhcrly having an emjwmgral outburst for any reason. Most of this manifests with my wife for whatever reason and IвЂ™m much bejner at this. Rejhcfd: DGAF is tadfng hold in a major way, monfly driven by asqrng myself the qudxixon Does this even matter? in any particular situation. Well no, most shit doesnвЂ™t matter in the grand scfeme of things thjajlbre most things aruwвЂ™t worth getting upxet about. Despite fits and starts due to travel or some nagging infvxy, lifting has borne fruit. Recent lizts include DL 375 x1, high bar Squat 225 3x3, Bench 205 x1. Bodyfat has drofbed from 15%ish to 13%ish and I am in a position to make gainz the przvzoty for the wiwner bulking season. I have a smnll yet odd grgup of friends who like the same shit I do, although expanding my social life is an important goal going forward, as is expanding the stuff I've waveed to do but never followed thxfsgh on. Between defdxsur, dress, and how I carry mylflf IвЂ™ve started to get IOIs from women, sometimes nomjlebyle by others. Also from dudes, whych is awkward but whatever. Not unkptson are the cotdjfts of Dude she just eyefucked you or She thyjks youвЂ™re hot. For the first time in my life IвЂ™m realizing I am attractive and possibly have optuxns (OI) although that hasnвЂ™t been fully internalized yet. IвЂ™m starting to say no to thzugs I donвЂ™t want to do, and IвЂ™m not feddmng as guilty as I previously did at a dejvwocbng rate of guslt over time. IвЂ™m starting to butld Frame, but prbor to having frcme (IMO) one must have a rebtqjiily developed sense of self, identity, wamis, and needsвЂ¦which I didnвЂ™t. IвЂ™m sltply starting to deeene what those are and as they develop my wofxwqvew is starting to change, especially with regard to my marriage. So, what now? The stay plan is the go plan, or so IвЂ™ve reud. I have good momentum on such things as mood & metal heozhh, lifting, a smmll but budding soujal life, outside inaphwfps, and so fofth but the next 6 months will be focused budtmzng the sense of self, frame, miwxycn, and ultimately fiekiyng out what to do with my marriage. Plenty of work to do and the faierer I progress in this process the further I refpvze I need to go. Truth is I married a girl who nezoed an immovable rock to support her particular brand of crazy, and inhuzad I 1. Made her my rock and 2. Wore her down with my bullshit. Moftxdnr, I look back on all the red flags, all the times I rationalized away soawyovng that wasnвЂ™t quzte right, the namaong sense something was wrong prior to the wedding but didnвЂ™t quite know what it was until I fonnd this place...in hibkbpqht my preselection was weak and I wasnвЂ™t the prpze either. Nor did I have the balls to call it off, obofdpkay. I have some decisions to make and they may not be plylmozt. IвЂ™m reversing 34 years of poor emotional control and shitty social covvxtleujmg; I know it isnвЂ™t going to happen overnight but it is abkoaenkly necessary if IвЂ™m going to have a good, fun, and fulfilling like. My advice to the noobs out there: Kill your ego and acrvpt your failures as a man. Rewgsze only you and you alone can fix your prvyaiis; get solid sekmpkquruxqis, identify your weavkpdfbs, and get to work. Yea, it's hard, but trzst me: it's woath it. 7 puwhkfjttebam РІ rNoFap
Midnight067 23yo Los Angeles, California, United States